Final exams can be quite intimidating for students and parents. Especially in a system where one exam determines a student’s placement in high school and university.
A parent of a finalist has the challenge of balancing their role as a loving caregiver and helping their teenager prepare for exams. On one end, you need to love your teenager unconditionally irrespective of the exam outcomes, and on the other end, you really desire them to pass.
Most teenagers can manage final exam stress using strategies and tactics they’ve learned in the past, while others need encouragement and guidance. Assess your teenager and get an idea of the help they need, which may include:
- Giving them space to study on their own
- Being in the same room with them as they study
- Offering words of encouragement
- Giving them treats as rewards
- Connecting with them during study breaks
- Helping them revise
- Allowing them to study with friends
Final exams evoke feelings of helplessness, anger, fear, and despair. These are all signs of final exam anxiety. If you notice your teenager exhibiting these emotions, you can intervene and provide test preparation support and positive encouragement. Today, we’ll help you in this journey by discussing how to help your teenager manage final exam anxiety.
#1. Suggest Helpful Revision Tips
Effective revision occurs when your teenager can get material from their short-term memory into their long-term memory.
Long-term memory is like a mental library, and you can retrieve information when you need it, while short-term memory is easily wiped out and irretrievable.
Cramming is a form of storing information in short-term memory. It can be quite discouraging for a teenager who crams today, tries to remember the following day, and realizes they forgot almost everything. They may start feeling anxious and despair.
Inform them that reading to understand is superior to cramming, especially when the exams are days away. Some people attest that cramming overnight helped them in their exams, but research shows it is not the best way to study as it affects the performance of other exams due to mental exhaustion. Instead of cramming, assist your teenager in practicing the following revision methods.
Organize their Study
A teenager is more likely to spend time in the subjects they are good at when anxious. This strategy reduces anxiety because they feel good when revising a subject they love. The result is that they spend less time on the subject that needs more attention. To deal with this challenge, help your teenager:
- Rate all subjects according to past performance
- Make a timetable that allocates more time to those subjects that need extra attention
- List the topics they think are the most challenging for them in each subject
- Focus on studying the challenging ones as they also plan for general revision
Organizing the study in this manner relieves some anxiety as they’ll feel in control of the situation and have a clearer picture of what they need to study.
Revise Actively
Your teenager simply reading their notes without actively engaging their brain will not help them remember. Active reading involves:
- Reading as you write questions to answer later
- Writing summary points
- Drawing diagrams connecting the information read
- Recording audio or video of what you’ve learned
- Teaching someone what you’ve learned
Your teenager could be anxious because they are wondering why the long hours of passive reading do not result in more knowledge absorbed.
If they engage in active reading and still have difficulty remembering, remind them that sometimes information takes longer to internalize, which doesn’t mean they haven’t studied well.
#2. Teach Them How to Stay Calm
Some anxiety before an exam is acceptable because it helps teenagers prepare and give their best. Excess anxiety, on the contrary, prevents your teenager from being productive. They dwell on whether they are ready for the exam and how they will perform. Some strategies you can suggest to them or do together to help them stay calm include:
- Talk to someone: Sharing the anxious feelings with you, their teachers, or friends will help them feel better when they realize they are not alone. They will also receive words of encouragement.
- Pray together: Teenagers who have learned to depend on God and have seen God answering prayers will find relief when you pray together. Reading encouraging verses also gives them something to meditate about when anxious thoughts creep in.
- Take a break: Allow them to take breaks when they feel tired or lose concentration. Taking a 15 mins walk is great for resting their mind if they plan to continue studying. Watching television when taking a short break numbs the mind, and it will be harder for them to concentrate again.
- Use breathing exercises: If anxiety overwhelms your teenager before or during exams, teach them how to breathe deeply. This technique sends a message to the brain and the body, saying it’s time to relax.
- Advise them to avoid sugary, caffeinated, and energy drinks: Caffeinated drinks increase anxiety levels, while sugary drinks lead to a spike in blood glucose levels, resulting in sudden drops in energy levels and reduced concentration.
Telling your teenager that many people have done the same exams and there’s no need to worry doesn’t help them beat anxiety. The upcoming exam is a big deal to them, and such a remark makes them feel like you don’t understand the pressure they feel. Instead, affirming their feelings and telling them it is normal to experience them will be of great help.
#3: Discuss Strategies for Specific Test Questions
Students fear some exam question formats. Your teenager may feel anxious because of the question structure they encounter in several exam papers.
Exam questions come in four main formats; multiple choices, short answers, essay questions, and problem-solving questions.
Each of these questions has a different approach to answering, and you can reduce your teenager’s anxiety by aiding them to understand the difference. The table below will guide you on what to share.
| Question-Type | How to Answer |
| Multiple Choice | – Note the keywords in the question and the possible answers – Think extra careful about questions with always and never – Note the word not and how it affects your answer – If you think you got the correct answer, check the other answers to make sure they are incorrect |
| Short Answers | – Don’t rush into answering – Plan your answer well – Write the most relevant points first – Make sure your answers are short and clear |
| Essays | – Introduction should touch on the main points of what you’ll discuss – The body should flow smoothly by giving one idea per paragraph – Your strongest points should come first – The conclusion should briefly summarize your points |
| Problem-Solving | – Read the question carefully, noting each part, and what it requires you to solve – Write the formula you’ll use to solve the problem – Indicate what is provided and what is missing – Double-check every step for errors until you get to the answer |
Use sample questions from different subjects to help them understand the above formulas for answering. Your teenager’s confidence will improve when you go through these tips as they will feel they have prepared well to answer the questions.
#4. Remind Them Exams Doesn’t Define Them
Exams are a small part of a teenager’s life journey. Help them understand that the scores they get should not define them. Their identity is superior to one exam, and they shouldn’t feel like they are doomed for failure if they don’t pass. Parents also affect the weight teenagers place on exams when they:
- Are more anxious than the teenager
- Keep reminding the teenager that failure is unacceptable
- Say that they don’t want to be embarrassed
- Tell their teenagers that passing is the only way to show appreciation for paying school fees
A parent who reassures their teenager that they are valued and loved whether or not they pass the final exams boosts the teenager’s confidence and helps them concentrate on their studies. Be the positive voice your teenager needs in this season of exams.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I help my teenager with exam stress and anxiety?
- Watch out for indications of stress and address them
- Urge them to eat healthily and get enough sleep
- Talk about exam anxiety and stress
- Help them study
- Do not add to the stress by giving many demands
How do I motivate my Lazy Teenager to study?
- Find out why they don’t want to study
- Create a fun reward system
- Make study time interesting na easier
- Dealing with phone addiction that encourages laziness
- Reduces stressors in the home
How do I stop worrying about my teenagers’ exam results?
- Share with someone about your concerns
- Have an activity you can do when the worrying thoughts start
- Pray and trust God to help you through it
- God for walks or plan for activities you can do together with your teenager
Images source: Pexel
Jane Kariuki is a devout Christian, Clinician, Psychologist, and founder of ParenTeen Kenya. She authored an exceptional training manual used in her teens’ workshop and an instructional guidebook for her parenting classes. If she is not training, blogging, or counseling, Jane loves to spend time with her sweet husband and three children.
I am proud of you Jane. God richly bless you as you help us parents deal with our children
Thank you Martin, I will keep on at it.
My daughter is always anxious about exams. I have tried these but it seems not working. What can I do?
Hi Emily,
Thank you for your question. Sorry about your daughter’s anxiety.
I noticed you used the word always, meaning that she’s had it for sometime and not specific to a final exam like kcpe or kcse.
For her to receive proper help, you need to find out when she first experienced anxiety and the surrounding circumstances.
Secondly, you need to understand why the exam causes anxiety i.e which part of the exam period scares or worries her. You can only help her by addressing her primary reason. Tackling other reasons without addressing the one she experiences the most may not alleviate the anxiety.
Anxiety sometimes is connected to other factors outside the exams. If it persists, she may need to talk to a counselor to help her pinpoint the root cause, learn how to manage it, and finally overcome it.
Hope this helps.