How to Convince Your Parents to Trust You: Teens Only

Why don’t my parents trust me? Is a question almost all teens ask themselves. Wouldn’t your teenage life be easier if your parents trusted you completely? Imagine your parents allowing you to go anywhere you wanted and letting you hang out with any friend of your choice. That would be a dream come true.

Trust is when your parents have the assurance that what you say is true, you can be relied upon to finish a task, they don’t sense you are hiding something, and your willingness to follow their guidance.

Your parents start their trust meter with you at almost 100%. The trust level begins to decrease when you do things that cause them to doubt your words or become suspicious of your actions.

You are here because the question at the back of your mind is, how do I get my parents to trust me? This article not only answers that question but teaches you how to gain your parents’ trust back.

Our teen workshop also guides you on how to relate with your parents so that you avoid losing their trust.

Losing your parents’ trust can cause you to feel sad, guilty,  and fearful, especially if they feel hurt and let down by your actions.

Why Don’t My Parents Trust Me? Signs You Have Lost Your Parents Trust

Here are some pointers to see where you lie with your parent’s trust level before looking at how to gain your parents’ trust back.

Your parents may start doing the following when they notice a deceitful trend. They will:

• Want to know your every move.
• Accuse you of lying most of the time.
• Freak out when you leave the house for long.
• Ask too many questions regarding a situation.
• No longer send you to handle important matters.
• Give you limited access to some things like phone, internet, their car or bedroom.
• Demand you leave the bedroom door open.

The above steps taken by parents cause most teens to ask themselves, “why do my parents hate me?” Yet it is not that they hate them, but they don’t trust them. Their love for you is intact. Instead, it would help if you ask, “why don’t my parents trust me?”

Will My Parents Ever Trust Me Again? How to Gain Your Parents Trust Back

Your parents measure whether to trust you or not by assessing how sorry you are,  how reliable you can be, how believable your words are, your willingness to relate with them, and whether you only focus on yourself.

Working on each of these factors explained below will help you regain your parents’ trust back. It will take hard work and perseverance to get your parents to trust you again.

 Apologize

Being able to say sorry is a significant step in learning how to regain trust. It is more about the attitude than the words used.

• Plan a time when your parents are relaxed or in a good mood.
• Acknowledge what you did was wrong by restating it clearly and how disappointing it must have been.
• Ask for forgiveness and that you desire not to repeat the same mistake.
• Add that you what them to teach you how to regain their trust.

Be Credible

Credibility is the aspect of being honest and believable in your words and actions. Everyone lies at times, but it becomes an issue when you repeatedly lie about things your parents consider important.

Most parents would rather handle a teenager that disagrees openly with them than one who tricks and lies to them. They find it easier to deal with an argument than being deceived.

• Tell your parents that you know you have violated their trust and wish to gain it back. Parents love it when their children are honest with them.
• Purpose truthfulness in what you say and in your actions. When you say you will wash the dishes by the time they get back, let them find the dishes clean.
• Learn to be accountable for your actions. When they find your room dirty, take ownership and admit you haven’t cleaned it instead of arguing how you dint get the time to do it.
• Being respectful is also a good way of learning how to regain trust. Your parents think you disrespect them when you don’t tell the truth or come clean regarding a situation.

Be Reliable

When a teenager asks, will my parents ever trust me again? They ask this question because their parents doubt everything they say, or their parents believe they are not responsible without their supervision.

Being a reliable teenager is when your parents can depend on you. If they leave you, they know you will not do what you are not supposed to, you will take care of your siblings, and you will handle their things well and keep the home tidy.

• Tell your parents you desire to be reliable and ask them to teach you how to become that.
• Plan to complete every task your parents give you within the timeline given. If you can’t, tell them beforehand and provide a genuine reason.
• When they give you a chance to be responsible for your sibling, gadgets, or home, do your best to exceed their expectations.

Be Intimate

That’s right, intimate means cultivating a close relationship with your parents. A common complaint your parent may have is that you spend too much time in your room or with your friends.

If you are to learn how to gain your parents’ trust back, you will need to spend time with your parents. The time spent with them helps to regain trust because:

• They will get to know you more and see the beautiful side of you, like your sense of humor and good storytelling skills, instead of focusing on how you violated their trust.
• It will help them stop thinking you are always hiding something because spending more time in their presence communicates openness.
• You will learn what their values are and understand how much they enjoy your company and care for you. You will also get to trust them

Be People (Parent)-Focused

Being self-focused instead of people-focused gives a clear answer to this question, why don’t my parents trust me? Your parent would answer if you ask them directly, “It is because you care about yourself only.” You must have heard them say this to you a couple of times.

When a friend does things to make you happy, you will easily do the same for them and vice versa. At home, when you keep saying no to those things your parents consider important, Will your parents also be willing to listen and care about your requests? You need to:

• Communicate to your parent that you care about them and their needs.
• Find out what makes your parent happy and purpose to do it often.
• Buy a card or gift to show your appreciation for the basic needs they give you.
• When you plan your activities, check if you have considered your family members.

Regaining Trust is Not Easy

It took a while to break your parents’ trust; it may take even longer to gain their trust back. Do not lose heart. It is worth it, and your parents will notice your effort and reward you with opportunities of redeeming yourself.

The guidelines here are not for those teenagers who want to fake it to gain their parents’ trust and violate it again. The process of learning to apologize, being credible, reliable, intimate, and caring towards their parents needs patience. Only a teenager who cares about their parents’ relationship will do their best to stick to it.

We make plans like the ones above, but God enables us to do them. Commit your desire to regain your parents’ trust back to God and even ask him, “How do I get my parents to trust me again?” He will give you further guidance and the ability to do it.

Will my parents ever trust me again? Yes, they will. They know you are a child who needs forgiveness and many second chances. That’s why they love you no matter what. Keep at it.

Get in touch with Parenteen Kenya to help you heal from a broken parent-teen relationship.

Please share in the comment section below your experience in violating or winning back your parents’ trust.

Jane Kariuki

Jane Kariuki is a devout Christian, Clinician, Psychologist, and founder of ParenTeen Kenya. She authored an exceptional training manual used in her teens’ workshop and an instructional guidebook for her parenting classes. If she is not training, blogging, or counseling, Jane loves to spend time with her sweet husband and three children.